Perception is not Reality

I recently heard a book review and skimmed through the same book, and for the life of me can't find the title or a link to it right now, it discussed how we perceive things incorrectly and even create false memories. All of this is to reinforce our own beliefs and preconceptions, and the mind can do funny things. It does not mean that we cannot know the truth or reality it is just made more difficult by our own mind playing tricks on us...

This brings me to what I have been thinking about recently. I am constantly obsessed with my weight. When I was young I was heavy, at one point I weighed as much as 330 pounds. In 2008 I started a plan that I concocted that helped me lose 150 pounds (my lowest weight was 173). I was highlighted by a website which you can checkout here: (with before and after pictures). I have gained some of that back and average 185 lately I have been around 195.

There are times when I try not to be and give myself some leeway, like on vacation or trips. Otherwise I try to stick to an eating plan and keep a running total of the calories eaten in a day and about how many I have expended exercising. If I eat a little extra or have something not on my eating plan I try to compensate by more exercise or less food later in the day. I weigh myself once a week, usually...

But when I came back from my last trip / vacation My weight was 200 and I freaked out and have been on and off trying to keep better track of my eating, exercise, and weight. My wife was pointing out that my waist size hasn't changed and my clothes all fit the same. I haven't checked body fat percentage and it is possible there is more muscle.

It's hard to shake the fears, insecurity, and feelings of being overweight, obese, or just plain fat. I still see myself as fat, although I know that I am not. I try to keep it healthy and I remind myself what I did look like by looking at old pictures. I really have changed, even though my brain does not always remember that. Perception is not always reality.