Things Patrons Say

We were discussing how Library patrons say things that mean something completely different. It is always to make it sound like something the library has done wrong or needs to fix. I thought I'd share it with you for laughs and maybe some readers can add ones in their own life.

The copier is out of paper = I don't know how to use the copier
Printer has printed my paper wrong = I don't know how to print things
Printer is broken = Don't know how to use the printer
Computer won't take my password = I didn't read the printing instructions
The book isn't on the shelf = I don't know how to find books
You didn't check-in the book I returned = I didn't return the book
I didn't check those things out = I lost the items
Fines were not things I checked out = I forget anything more than a week ago
I shouldn't have to pay that = I don't want to pay the fines
The internet isn't working = I don't know how to use the computer
I can't afford to pay the fines = I don't want to pay the fines

Sometimes there are exceptions and the person really doesn't have the money or something isn't working correctly, but that is so rare that we have found it hard to believe patrons on first blush.